Zonkatron

This is an extract of my book: The Meaning of Life

Basic Formula

Happiness = Mental + Emotional+ Physical Well-being

Mental well-being is about your mindset!

Your mindset is one of the most stubborn things to shift, but it is also one of the most rewarding.

Often, you don’t realize the need for transforming your mindset when you face a problem, you just want to fix it, but sooner or later you will have to transform your mindset because many times the problem can’t be fixed from a place of negativity, anger, bitterness, and despair. Life is all about elevating your mindset. The older you get, the more your mindset evolves gradually. Just think of how much better your mindset is now compared to 5 or 10 years ago.

Every few months, you are making significant progress in your mindset because if you are not, then your life has no meaning from a spiritual perspective.

Your mindset mirrors your soul and life is all about soul growth, so whatever is changing in your mindset will be reflected in your soul’s growth. But there is a big difference between changing your mindset naturally and changing it artificially. If the change is not coming from your heart, if you are not the one (the soul) striving for that change, then eventually, your soul will rebel and bring your old mindset back.

This is where I want to stress the importance of being true to yourself. The more you try to trick your mind and lie to yourself, the harder you are making your soul progress. Even doing terrible things with honesty is much better for your soul’s progress than doing great deeds of kindness without feeling them. A lot of people see life as “what you do” or “how much you achieve,” but, from a spiritual perspective, it is only how you grow internally that matters, and you always grow in the right direction, even if it looks from the outside that you are growing in the wrong direction. Eventually, the experience (good or bad) is leading you to soul awareness, change, transformation, and maturity. And that is the whole purpose of living through this painful life.

Yes, life is painful on different levels – physically, emotionally, and mentally. No one alive can go through this life without pain. Pain is the foundation of this life, there is no way a life without pain could be of any value to the soul. Your soul can go and live in the most heavenly paradise you could ever imagine, there is no limit to what your soul can enjoy. But what is the point, if you just enjoy pleasure and beauty all the time and your soul is still lacking in many aspects? Your soul is amazing and your mission in this life is to make it even more amazing. Your soul became amazing only after so many lifetimes of learning and progress, and your current life is a continuation of this process.

Let me share with you a story that changed my perspective on pain. I was going through a rough patch in my life and I felt frustrated and hopeless. I wondered why my spirit guides were not helping me, why they were letting me suffer. So I asked them in prayer: “why don’t you make my life easy, why do you keep me living with this pain” … The next night, I had a dream that shook me to the core. In my dream, I saw myself begging my spirit guides to teach me because I (the soul) wanted to grow and achieve greatness in my heart. They showed me how every challenge I faced was a lesson for my soul, a gift for my evolution. When I woke up, I felt a surge of gratitude and acceptance. I never complained about my life conditions again, no matter how hard they got. I just knew that every time I faced difficulties, my soul was benefiting immensely and that my situation was exactly what I needed for my soul to progress. So, this is how a spiritual experience can heal your mindset. Without any meaningful spiritual experiences, you would struggle a lot more to change your mindset when things go wrong.

Let me tell you why relying on religious beliefs alone is not enough, especially if you have experienced a lot of trauma. Beliefs are great, but they need some evidence to back them up, otherwise, they are easily shaken. On the other hand, negative emotions, especially the ones that come from deep wounds in your childhood, have a huge impact on your mindset. When you are emotional, your mindset gets taken over by your emotions. For example, if you hate someone, your mind blocks any positive thoughts about that person, until the emotions fade and you slowly realize that you were exaggerating in the way you thought when you were emotional.

That is why emotional healing is one of the main pillars of healing, and addressing emotions is different from addressing the mindset. Although the mind is the source of emotions, emotions just get stored in the body and they are the domain of the muscles and nerves rather than the mind and thoughts. That’s why one of the most powerful healing tools I have learned in my life was emotional release through emotional expression, commonly referred to as catharsis. But before you think it’s so destructive and not very effective, let me say that there are bad, destructive ways of expressing emotions and there are very good, safe ways of doing the same thing with a 100% clearing effect.

Let me share with you why I usually don’t like positive affirmations. There are two reasons: first, the emotions are often too strong to be influenced by positive affirmations; second, if your positive affirmation is not something you believe in, then you are somehow fooling yourself when you keep trying to force it into your belief system. So, if positive affirmations are not the best way to change your mindset, what can you do to change your mindset then?
Think! Yes. Through thinking! Thinking is the most natural way everyone is changing their mindset regularly in this life. There are other (artificial) ways to change your mindset, but they all have to be tested by your daily thinking and real-life experiences. Thinking has gotten a bad reputation in this modern age of stress and anxiety because it can be harmful if it is done too much. But the problem is not the thinking process itself, it is the way you do it. Thinking can be wonderful if you see it as life’s gift for your personal growth.

Nowadays, people all over the world are getting curious about meditation practices, thinking it is the way to go to quiet their minds, relax their minds, feel peace of mind in their being and start enjoying life. Well, if you have ever tried any meditation practice, you would know that meditation does not stop the mind, it just gives your mind plenty of time and space to process all the thinking that you have been avoiding because the memories are too painful. Memories are never TOO painful. Sure, a lot of memories that we need to process to heal ourselves are painful, but they are still within the range of what we can handle and process.

Life is clever. Life never throws us a curveball that is too big for us to catch. It may seem like that at first, but every challenge in this life is tailored to our ability to handle it. It may take many years to overcome a certain challenge in life, but it is always doable and achievable. So, next time you find yourself obsessing over a certain memory, unable to let it go, feeling annoyed and irritated that you are just thinking about what you don’t want to think of and unable to sleep, then remember that life is trying to teach you something. You may have a brilliant insight the next morning, and this insight will be life-changing, because all the events in your life are arranged to happen in a way to get your soul transformation going, and a moment of awareness is the sign that your soul transformation is back on track, so your life events don’t need to be as hard anymore because you’re doing well.

Let me show you how you can tell when you need to change your mindset and in what direction you should change it. The simple answer is whenever you get too emotional, that is when you need to change your mindset and the right direction is the one that makes you feel less negative emotions.
For example, whenever you catch yourself feeling too angry, take a break and try to examine your mistakes. Blaming only others for your anger will make you feel angrier and this vicious cycle will make you act in crazy ways that will hurt your relationships and your health. Now, I’m not saying this is easy or that you can do it right away every time you get angry. What I’m saying is that this is the goal you need to aim for to achieve a great mindset that will make you happy, successful, loved, relaxed, and wise. Another example is when you feel unlucky in life, and you start fantasizing about how happier you would be if you were the richest person on earth or if you had a loving spouse taking you on a sunny yacht trip. The more you dwell on the idea of being the unlucky one, the worse your mood will get. Over many years or even decades, you develop a constant gloomy mood, and you think that you are just the victim of a cruel life. This is how many of us end up with the mindset of the victim. This whole process has to be reversed to heal your mind. Every time you feel unlucky in life, think of the many people who are worse off than you, and appreciate what you have. Also, the more you realize that you have some luck in this life, the more you get motivated to seize the opportunities that come your way. Before long, you are not just thinking that you are lucky… You become lucky!

Once again, the formula of mindset healing is to be aware that extreme emotions are your warning signs that your thoughts are going in the wrong direction. Even extreme happiness is not what you want to have because sooner or later, something will go wrong and you will suddenly lose that happiness. This causes mental and emotional chaos, the stress of disappointment, failure, loss, and back to feeling like the unlucky one and the victim.

Conclusion

Life is not that hard, but it is not easy either. Life simply has its natural adversities. Your ultimate mission in life is “to learn the art of living with grace.” That is exactly what my spirit guides told me when I asked them about the meaning of my life. When you start becoming able to be stable and confident when your life is down, and relaxed and thoughtful when your life is up, then you have learned the art of living life with grace. The gap between the difficulties will get slimmer, and your excessive emotions will never get the best of you any longer.